Currently Reading A Fortunate Man: The Story of a Country Doctor By John Berger see related

    I think that guys like me are unsuited to relationships.  The thing is, you can’t just know about people, you have to feel them.   In every social situation, my mind is running – why is this person talking to me, is a smile appropriate here, should I wave or not, what is the subtext of this conversation – but it might as well be a hamster running on a wheel for all it accomplishes.  You see, most folks just know what the subtext is; they know when to reassure and when to make light, or if they don’t know, they make their mistakes without thinking about it, at least until afterward.  For me, every action is an extrapolation based on the sum of previous interactions.  I consciously think: what is the purpose of this conversation, is it just to be polite, is it an attempt to make a real human contact, is it to get information, is there an opportunity to crack a joke, what is the atmosphere and mood of the place we’re in, will this conversation result in anything or will this be the beginning and end of our interaction.   It’s sick, really, and it throws everything off.  You can’t analyze people’s behavior from a logical perspective that doesn’t take into account personality, at least personality in the general sense.  It’s like making an omelet without eggs.  You could probably approximate a base with some corn starch and whipped cream (no sugar), but it wouldn’t seem quite right, and nobody could enjoy it.